I don't think i should be allowed to decide what to do.

Grey's Anatomy Spoilers?

I can't believe the end, I can't believe. Well everyone knew about Lizzie's death, Who didn't see that really? Anyways what I'm upset about is George. :(

Ok About ME now....

Ok real life now. I feel like i am losing touch of my life. I can't really explain it. Ravel and me are in Dallas for a few days and last night my brother was talking about all his hoes and all his parties and tons of fun he is having. I am scared to death of fun, fun is full of trouble. All i want to do is have vegetarian dinner parties and finish reading books. Buy records and graduate, I don't even go out dancing anymore. I think about how i am almost to old to start new relationships and stupid things like marriage and what to buy Ravel for his birthday. What i would buy him if i could save up this much or that much. How i should do something for someone. Or just buy a gift because it's sweet.

I wish i was better at causing hell and making riot plans. I wish i was better at having fun.

I feel more than anything like i've been re-handicapped from fun, by nothing else but my bike accident. Fuck that bike.

My little brother came home drunk again i have to go.